Zarine's POV:
"Tell me the truth, Zarine. Is it true that you want to marry Vince? Your sister's boyfriend?"
"He's not her boyfriend, Dad!" I shouted. How many times do I have to tell him that they aren't in a relationship?
"Pero mali parin—"
"I'm doing it because of you Dad! Mom blockmailed me!" putol ko sa kaniya kasabay ng pagtulo ng mga luha ko. Akala ba niya talaga kaya kong gawin sa kapatid ko ang bagay na 'to dahil lang sa nararamdaman ko? Dahil lang sa nakaraan ko? Dahil lang gusto ko? Of course not! "She told me if I were not going to do want she wants, nanakawin niya lahat ng meron tayo, even your company Dad!"
"Z-Zarine—"
"I know ipinaubaya mo na 'yon kay Mommy, pero Dad kapag nalaman ni Lola at Lolo 'to hindi sila papayag! Ayokong tuluyang kunin at angkinin ni Mom ang lahat ng dapat sa 'yo, nagiging sakim na si Mommy and I know this is only the right thing to do!"
Tuluyan akong napaiyak nang yakapin ko ito. I don't want him to suffer. Ayokong mawala nalang lahat ng pinaghirapan niya.
"I hope you understand that I only did that for you, Dad."
"I understand that you don't want me to suffer pero anak, mas gugustuhin ko pang ako nalang kaysa ang kapatid mo," he answered. Humiwalay ako rito at pinunasan ang mga luha ko. Nasimulan ko na 'to, bakit pa ako magbabago ng isip? Nasimulan na rin 'to ni Zadie. Ipinaubaya na niya si Vince sa'kin at dapat na namin 'tong gampanan.
"I want V-Vince to come back too, Dad. Kaya ako pumayag dahil gusto ko ring pakasalan si Vince," I lied. I know this is the only way para hindi na ako pigilan ni Dad. I just want to protect him. Kung ano mang mga nagawa ko, hinding-hindi ko 'yon pagsisisihan. "Zadie let go of him already. Wala na akong nakikita pang problema o hahadlang sa amin, Dad. He also agreed that he will marry me."
Hindi ko na hinintay pang magsalita si Dad at pumasok ng kwarto ko. Doon ko inilabas ang lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. I'm such a bad sister! Damn it! I hope my sister forgives me. I'm sorry Zad, I'm really sorry. I didn't want to do it either but I have no choice.
"Zarine, let's talk!" Mom called me. I quickly walk towards her and sat down on the couch.
"What is it, Mom?" I asked.
"I have a request for you, my daughter," she answered that made me frowned. Bakut parang kakaiba 'yung mga ngiti ni Mommy?
"A-Anything I can, Mom," sagot ko, kahit na nagtataka ako at medyo kinakabahan.
"I want you to marry Mr. Vince Toxillo, Zarine."
I look at my mom with disbelief. "Y-You want me to marry him?! Mom, are you crazy—"
"Language, Zarine!" she cut me off, glaring. "I'm serious, I want you to marry him either you want it or not!"
I shook my head. "But I can't do this, Mom! I can't—"
"I did not ask for your opinion. All you have to do is do as I command you!" she cut me off.
"No, Mom. I can't marry him! He loves Zadie and Zadie loves her!" I shouted back. Napahinto pa ako nang may ma-realize ako at gulat na napatingin sa kaniya. "D-Don't tell me you still want to destroy—"
"Anak nga talaga kita. That's what I want since they were born, to destroy her and her twin."
"Mom, ano pa bang gusto niyo? Hindi niyo na nga sila tinaggap na anak niyo—"
"Shut your mouth, Zarine! I'm not done yet. Gusto kong makita ang babaeng 'yon na magmakaawa at lumuhod sa harapan ko dahil labis-labis na ang pagdurusa niya! That's the only way to make me happy and contented!" she shouted that made me shock. I can't really believe her. Hindi ko na siya kilala!
Why did she suddenly change into a monster?!
"I don't want to, Mom! I will not do it, kahit magalit ka pa sa'kin. I will not hurt my sister!" I answered at tumayo na sa upuan ko. Pabalik na sana ako nang kwarto ko nang magsalita siya na siyang ikinatigil ko.
"If you will not obey your mom, I'll make sure you will also suffer especially your Dad and his family! Kukunin at aangkinin ko ang Villin's Company at lahat ng property ng Dad mo! Ngayon mo ako sawayin, Zarine."
No way! No, no, no! Not my Dad! Don't do it, Mom! Damn it! She really knows my weakness!
"M-Mom don't do this to me and Dad! We're family—"
"Then do want I want, Zarine," she cut me off, grinning from ear to ear. Argh! I'm starting to hate my own mother! I hope God will forgive me but I really hate her! She turns out into a monster!
"M-Mom, I-I thought y-you want me to marry Khalil? B-Bakit si Vince naman ngayon?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. Ginagawa niya akong laruan at lumalabas na ginagawa ko namang laruan ang mga kapatid!
I don't even deserve either one of them because of what I've done!
"Nag-aral ka lang sa Canada ay humina na ang ulo mo, Zarine. Kailangan ko pa bang ulit-ulitin?"
As if that's only her reason, make my siblings suffer! "I know you, Mom, I know that there is some other reason why you—"
"I want their wealth!"
Hindi makapaniwalang natawa ako. "Hindi ka parin nagbabago, Mom. You want me to marry Khalil because he was the heir before and now that Vince is already the heir of Toxillo... Damn! I can't believe you, mom."
"You choose, Zarine. Marry Vince Toxillo and make Zadie suffer or I will make you suffer and your Dad?" she asked which made me stay still. My heart was pounding so damn fast!
This is blackmailing!
All of them are very important to me! I cherish of all them but now I have to pick one.
I'm so sorry, I hope you forgive me...
"I-I-I will choose m-my f-father, Mom. I-I will m-marry Vince just like what you want," I answered and wiped my tears away. She quickly ran towards me and hugged me.
"Thank you, Zarine. I know hindi mo ako bibiguin."
"A-Anything for you, Mom."
Sunod-sunod akong napabuntong-hininga. I really have to do this. I know it's not the right thing to do but for the sake of my family, especially Dad I will do it no matter what it takes.
Yes, I want to have a surname, Toxillo but not with him. Damn! Why do I even think of this? I have nothing to do with it anymore. No one can beat my mom either. I wiped my tears and took my phone when it suddenly rang.
"Hello?" I answered.
"I just want to inform you that your mom wants me and my fam to have dinner tomorrow," he said. I can't help but smile bitterly.
"I-Is that so? I'll wait for you then!" I answered while I was trying to have excitement in my voice.
"I'm just wondering..."
I did not talk, I was waiting for him to continue. Bakit kinakabahan ako? Damn! Magiging asawa mo na siya, Rin! Bakit ka ganiyan?!
"About your mother. Bakit biglang gusto na niya sa'kin? As I remember, she doesn't want me to be with you before."
I bit my lower lip. "A-Ah, I-I don't know to b-but I think she realizes that... that you're a good person," I answered him, biting my lower lip. Argh! This is so frustrating!
"Maybe, hm I thought you will post our wedding invitation online? I'll wait for it, bye."
Yeah, everything is planned. Lahat ng kailangan namin nagawa na ni Mommy bago pa niya sabihin sa 'kin. She also talked to Mr. Toxillo, their Dad and he said yes. There's only one thing left, our reception. I guess we will plan it for tomorrow at the dinner.
***
Zadie's POV:
"I'm sorry, Dad, hindi ko kayo agad napagbuksan," bungad ko rito nang makalabas ako galing sa kwarto ko. Pasimple pa akong sumilip sa salamin para tinginan ang mukha ko.
"It's okay, anak. Nakalimutan mo atang sanay mag-bukas ng pinto itong si Scott at Taki," he answered. I just smiled at him at naghanda ng makakain sa kusina.
Mula kaninang umaga ay hindi pa ako kumakain. Gano'n pala 'yung feeling, 'no? It was like I've lost everything. Parang ang hirap magsimula ulit. 'Yung tipong nadapa ka at napilayan pero wala man lang ni isang gustong tumulong sa 'yo, sobrang hirap lang.
"Pa, naghanda na ako kumain na po kayo," tawag ko. Mabilis naman nitong binitawan si Taki at nagtungo sa kusina para mag-hugas ng kamay.
"Hindi mo ba ako sasamahan?" he asked. Hindi na ako nagsalita at naupo nalang sa tabi nito. I have no choice but to eat even I've already lost my appetite. Losing your appetite to eat because of sadness is the worst. Papayat kaya ako nito? "Sinamahan mo nga ako, hindi mo naman ginagalaw ang pagkain mo."
"I-I'm sorry, Pa. W-wala po talaga akong gana—"
"Is it because of what happened?" he cut me off. Agad akong napaiwas ng tingin. "Nagpunta ako rito dahil dalawang araw ka na raw nagmumukmok dito sabi ni Cloud."
Yes, it's been two days. Parang kahapon lang. Sariwang-sariwa pa ang lahat. In two weeks, our school year will be ended. My sister's marriage with my man is coming too. Damn this fvcking life of mine.
"Zadie, anak—"
"I want to go somewhere, P-Pa," I whispered, my voice cracked as I felt tears in my eyes. "Kahit saan basta 'yung tahimik at mag-isa ako. I just want to be alone b-but I don't know where."
I really want to go somewhere, 'yung ako lang nakakakilala sa sarili ko. Away from sadness, away from pain, away from people who hurt me. I want to spend time with myself and take care of it.
Panahon na siguro para 'yung sarili ko naman 'yung unahin ko. Panahon na siguro para maging selfish ulit ako at walang intindihin kung hindi ang sarili ko. I want to love myself first dahil lahat ng atensyon, isip, at puso ko ibinigay ko sa mga taong sakit ang ibinalik sa 'kin.
"By any chance, do you want to go in Canada at doon mo ipagpatuloy ang pag-aaral mo? Nandoon ang mga Tito mo at Lola mo, I'm sure they will guide and help you."
Bigla akong napatingin kay Papa sa sinabi nito. He wants me to go in Canda just like what my sister did?
"I think it's better to go there than to stay here, anak. Your Dad and Mom also agreed with that—"
"T-Teka Dad, p-parang ang bilis naman ata. And my parents agreed?" putol ko rito. Masyado naman ata nila akong binibigla. Yes, I want to go somewhere just like what I said, but hindi ganoon kadali magpunta at mamuhay sa Canada.
"It's not that I'm forcing you, Zadie. I'm just askin' if you want, kung hindi naman, okay lang din anak," he said and continue eating. Hindi ko mapagilang mapaisip.
If I will continue my studies there and live there, is there a posibility na makalimutan ko ang lahat lalo na siya?
"I-I'll think about it, Pa," I answered at inabot ang phone ko nang tumunog ito. I suddenly frown when I saw a post na naka-tag sa 'kin sa Facebook.
I immediately tap it, and boom! I suddenly hate myself for tapping this freaking notification.
I looked at my father and forced a smile. "Pa, m-my i-invitation na pala sila Ate Za, a-ang ganda po, oh, take a look!" tawag ko rito at iniabot sa kaniya ang phone ko. Nag-alinlangan pa ito kaya agad ko siyang ningitian para sabihing okay lang ako.
But, I'm actually not.
Sinong magiging okay kapag nakita mo ang invitation ng kasal ng kapatid mo at ng taong mahal mo? Damn! It hurts like hell!
"Maganda nga," komento ni Dad at ibinalik sa 'kin ang phone ko. I was about to put it back when my eyes landed on the comment section.
'They're getting married? I thought Vince has a girlfriend?'
'Bakit naka-tag si Zadie?'
And then I saw some replies.
'Baka ipinapamukha na hindi na magiging sila ni Vince.'
'I heard magkapatid sila ni Rin.'
'That's right and I heard niloko lang siya ni Zadie.'
Damn this bitches! Wala kayong alam okay?!
'Sabi ko na nga ba sila magkakatuluyan, I'm still your no. 1 fan, Vince and Rin!'
'After siyang lokohin ni Zadie, ayan bumalik kay ex.'
'Kung ako din kay Vince magpapakasal na ako sa totoo sa 'kin, hindi doon sa manloloko.'
What the heck?! Where did they get that? Okay fine, I cheated on him! Manloloko ako, okay na?!
My heart beats so fast and I feel like it will explode anytime. I just saw his comment below and it was just a minute ago.
'Years have passed, and I still love you.'
Sa lahat ng masasakit na nabasa at nakita ko, wala nang mas hihigit pa rito. What does he mean? What does he trying to say? I still love you? Then where was I? In that days, weeks, months that we were together, where was I?
Nang makaalis si Papa, agad akong nagtungo sa kwarto ko at doon muling umiyak. Ni hindi ko magawang magtungo sa veranda dahil naaalala ko lamang 'yung huli naming pag-uusap ng kapatid ko.
When will these tears dry up?
Mapait akong napangiti nang pumasok si Taki at Scott. Kaagad ko silang kinarga at sabay na niyakap habang hinahayaan ko silang dalawa na dilaan ako.
"I'm sorry, babies, hindi ko na kayo naalagaan na dalawa—"
Napahinto ako nang muli tumunog ang phone ko. Kaagad kong kinuha 'yon at tiningnan sa pag-aakalang message iyon mula sa kaniya, but I was wrong. Inis ko iyong binato. Wala na akong pakialam kung mabasag pa siya.
From now on, I will not use my phone anymore.
I closed my eyes heavily.
I suddenly miss the old me. I really miss the old me. I mean, the one who's genuinely happy, the one who's strong, brave, and full of positivity despite all my problems.
The one who knows her worth and her value. The one who's not broken, upset, and emotionally drained. I just realized that I was so happy back then, but now all I can say is, I'm empty. I'm broke. I'm useless. I'm worthless.
That's who I am.
How I wish I can turn back in time.
How I wish this is just a nightmare.
***
Lie Again
by: thesweetest_thing